Halflings and Midnight Picture Shows
by Cececat
Summary: A very weird visitor to the Shire introduces innocent Hobbits to a certain R-rated musical. Hilarity - and Audience Participation - ensues. [A pathetic little one-shot I wrote a while ago]. (Please Read & Review!)


**Disclaimer: I (luckily) don't own _The Lord of the Rings_ or _The Rocky Horror Picture Show._ If I did, there would be many stupid movies made combining the former's characters with the latter's songs. **

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**A/N: This story takes place sometime between when Bilbo's 111th birthday party and when Frodo & his friends leave the Shire – but much closer to the latter. Pippin is 25, so that's means it's probably TA 3015 or so. It's a comical, non-serious tale that doesn't follow the timeline too perfectly. I wrote this a while ago as a joke and haven't really edited it. Far from my best work, but a bit cute I hope.**

 **Also, the 'strange woman with red hair' is Magenta from _Rocky Horror_. Since it's a crossover that's probably pretty obvious.**

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Samwise Gamgee was enjoying a nice afternoon gardening. Yes, a nice and quiet afternoon was a good thing indeed. Until-

" _Let's do the time warp again! Let's do the time warp again! It's just a jump to the left! And then a step to the right-"_

"Stop damn noise, you fool of a Took!"

Peregrin 'Pippin' Took had taken a liking to a funny new sort of music. It was far too upbeat and the dancing that went with it... Well let's just say it upset hobbits even more than old Bilbo Baggins's tales of dragons.

To Sam's delight, the singing stopped. Alas, the singer himself entered Sam's peaceful gardening area. "I'm going to host a party tonight and you're _required_ to attend. And Merry's going to be there all dressed up. He never paid me back for the time I bought him that pint last week."

Poor Samwise shuddered in fear at what 'dressed up' meant.

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Frodo Baggins stood outside a tavern Pippin had mentioned earlier. He wondered what this was all about. Apparently a party of some kind, though not a formal one.

Something to do with music…

Suddenly, Pippin walked through the door Frodo stood beside. "C'mon inside, then. You've got to help us set everything up!"

Silently wondering _what_ they would be setting up, Frodo followed his friend inside.

The room he now stood in looked like a theatre. A stage took up the wall across from the door. Chairs filled much of the remaining floor space. Samwise Gamgee sat in one of the chairs, though the rest were empty.

"What is this about?" asked Frodo.

"I've been asking the same thing all evening, it's not worth it," said Sam.

Pippin smiled brightly. "Well, I've got an answer for you now!"

"Please explain, then," said Frodo.

"I vill explain," said a strange voice.

All three turned around to see a very strange person. She was taller than the hobbits and had very pale skin. Her hair was of an odd reddish color and styled strangely.

"Are you an elf?" asked Sam.

"No, no. I'm not of your vorld. I'm from another place far from zis Middle-earth," explained the person.

"What do you have to do with this theatre?" asked Frodo.

The person laughed strangely. "I've brought something called a movie for you to see. It's like a play that plays over and over, and no actors are needed."

Nobody could think of what to say next... Except for Sam. "Why is Merry wearing that strange outfit, then?"

Pippin laughed. "Because people sometimes dress like the movie characters at these movie-show events."

"What is Merry wearing that's so odd?" Frodo asked.

Samwise shuddered in horror. "It's... Strange. You _really_ don't want to know."

"I'll take you're word for it," replied Frodo.

The strange person giggled. "It vill be interesting, zis movie showing. I think ve should continue setting up."

"I hope you're willing to help with this. That's why you're here, after all," added Pippin.

And so they set up the projector, the screen, and all the other things needed for the movie. The hobbits didn't understand this technology, but nothing seemed wrong with it.

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Their 'guests' began to show up a few hours later. Only about fifteen hobbits actually came, most of them just to see what the mystical phrase 'movie-show' meant.

The strange person with the red hair disappeared out of sight just as they began filing in. Pippin was glad of this, for he didn't want questions to get in the way of this new kind of entertainment.

"Do you think that a hobbit of merely 25 could become a wealthy business owner?" Pippin muttered to Frodo as they watched people find seats.

"Is that what this is about?" asked Frodo.

Pippin rolled his eyes. "Why else would I do this? I hope everyone will like these 'movie-show' things enough that they will pay to see it. That strange red haired woman you met earlier sold me all the stuff I need to do a show every few days."

Frodo suddenly remembered seeing Pippin in Bag End's cellars a few weeks ago. "Peregrin Took, _plea_ se don't tell me you gave that person any of my best ales or wines in exchange!"

Pippin burst out laughing. "Of course not! I'm letting her stay in some of the extra rooms in Bag End in exchange for the movie-show stuff. She's formally moving in tomorrow."

"WHAT?"

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 **A/N: Poor Frodo!**

 **Please Review!**


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